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Add an option to delete yourself from friendslists

KouyioueKouyioue
Mabinogi Rep: 3,620
Posts: 417
Member
edited July 3 in Feedback and Suggestions
It's hard to move on from an old name when name-hoarders never remove you from their friendslists when you delete them from your friendslist.

If not in-game, then as a security option on the Mabinogi webpage.

Comments

  • HelsaHelsa
    Mabinogi Rep: 20,540
    Posts: 4,383
    Member
    I wonder if it is possible now by creating a ticket to request Tech Support to do it by directly editing the database? It just might be. On the other hand if folks keep making tickets for this then it might compell them to do something about it.
  • Momma_SophieMomma_Sophie
    Mabinogi Rep: 2,460
    Posts: 285
    Member
    No, I can't say I support the idea of giving other people control over my friends list.

    If I want to keep track of you as you shift identities, then I should have that liberty to do so. Whatever your reasons, I like being able to keep tabs on scammers, liars, sociopaths, and manipulators trying to escape consequence from things they've done to people.

    If a person has removed you from their List, the game keeps that person in perpetual "Offline Mode" status, buried in your list forever among the other forgotten ones. With me, a person that stays offline for a certain amount of time basically goes unnoticed and forgotten; this is made more evident when they've name changed because I don't care much for stalking everyone on my list to find out who is who.

    But, no. I don't want other people having control over my Friends list or Blacklist. I use it as a log of sorts. This idea also fails simply because of the blacklist. The blacklist still keeps track of you and your idea would require removal of yourself from blacklists as well, which I'm sure neither of us wants to have happen simply because your target name changed.
  • KouyioueKouyioue
    Mabinogi Rep: 3,620
    Posts: 417
    Member
    edited July 8
    It's a security measure against harassment from people who don't know when to give up on a relationship.

    And for when you want to leave a clan who goes after an individual's friends and burn all of their bridges through their name because they don't like that you 'sometimes hang out' with the person they had clan beef with; So you want to disappear and not have that potentially done to you as retaliation for leaving.

    And a way to purge away people who add you but then just permanently disappear on channel 1 and will never interact ever. I would rather not be on their friendslists. It's a security hole for the same reason: manipulative sociopaths with alt accounts trying to track channel changes while pretending they were the victim to their supporting clique. It doesn't even have to be for that reason, some people just don't like the loneliness brought on by people who literally collect names but don't actually say hi to anybody after the first conversation leading up to the add. I'd rather my name disappear from their friendslists when I unfriend them so that they don't get the privilege of saying they have a lot of """"friends""""

    Losing gold or an item is not as important as these droves of people who just want to get away from a falling-out or even actual type 2 harassment from people like you pretending to have saintly reasons and also just because 'individually slanderous clan member #43' 'wanted to' in their attempt to do disproportionate retribution limb-for-limb, finger-for-finger over whatever minor slight sets them off.
    It's in my seven years of playing when I say: Mabinogi .... isn't... known for its high mental maturity among the 30+ year olds who play it.
  • CrimsọnCrimsọn
    Mabinogi Rep: 63,645
    Posts: 8,621
    Member
    edited July 5
    Helsa wrote: »
    I wonder if it is possible now by creating a ticket to request Tech Support to do it by directly editing the database? It just might be. On the other hand if folks keep making tickets for this then it might compell them to do something about it.

    They would never do that, too much effort.

    No, I can't say I support the idea of giving other people control over my friends list.

    If I want to keep track of you as you shift identities, then I should have that liberty to do so. Whatever your reasons, I like being able to keep tabs on scammers, liars, sociopaths, and manipulators trying to escape consequence from things they've done to people.

    If a person has removed you from their List, the game keeps that person in perpetual "Offline Mode" status, buried in your list forever among the other forgotten ones. With me, a person that stays offline for a certain amount of time basically goes unnoticed and forgotten; this is made more evident when they've name changed because I don't care much for stalking everyone on my list to find out who is who.

    But, no. I don't want other people having control over my Friends list or Blacklist. I use it as a log of sorts. This idea also fails simply because of the blacklist. The blacklist still keeps track of you and your idea would require removal of yourself from blacklists as well, which I'm sure neither of us wants to have happen simply because your target name changed.

    Even if there is a bunch of bleep made up about you? I think there are special circumstances warranting this. It's impossible to take on a group of people let alone a community AND retain your account without having to start all over. When I changed my name, it was pointless because of this very problem here. The group that was out to get me updated everyone about my new name. Hell even the freaking official discord staff knew which shows you how insidious this community is. This was back when I used to be a goody two shoes.

    Toxic as bleep.
  • HelsaHelsa
    Mabinogi Rep: 20,540
    Posts: 4,383
    Member
    Crimsọn wrote: »
    Helsa wrote: »
    I wonder if it is possible now by creating a ticket to request Tech Support to do it by directly editing the database? It just might be. On the other hand if folks keep making tickets for this then it might compell them to do something about it.

    They would never do that, too much effort.

    Nah, it'd be nothing at all; it'd just take a script. You'd give your character name to tech support, then they'd run a query on the database on the particular table that houses the friends lists. It finds them, it deletes them; easy peasy.
  • Momma_SophieMomma_Sophie
    Mabinogi Rep: 2,460
    Posts: 285
    Member
    edited July 8
    [Just going to preface this from the start: I don't disagree with any of you about the problems you present. I disagree with the solution. I totally understand and can relate to your problems and I want to find a solution as well, trust me. But, it can't be controlling what everyone else sees. They'll use that against us, I promise you.]

    To Kouyioue:
    Kouyioue wrote: »
    It's a security measure against harassment from people who don't know when to give up on a relationship.
    And for when you want to leave a clan who goes after an individual's friends and burn all of their bridges through their name because they don't like that you 'sometimes hang out' with the person they had clan beef with; So you want to disappear and not have that potentially done to you as retaliation for leaving.
    Stop responding and ignore them. Works for me (and Tinder users) all the time.
    And a way to purge away people who add you but then just permanently disappear on channel 1 and will never interact ever. I would rather not be on their friendslists.
    Delete the people who are forever "offline." But, other people should not have control over other peoples' friends lists. I stand firmly by that and I will not budge, because I understand where this leads.
    some people just don't like the loneliness brought on by people who literally collect names but don't actually say hi to anybody after the first conversation leading up to the add.
    Be proactive and start the conversation or be more conservative with how/why you add people, or just don't add random nobodies named "Steponmedaddy."
    I'd rather my name disappear from their friendslists when I unfriend them so that they don't get the privilege of saying they have a lot of """"friends""""
    That is not and should not be your right nor duty to police what other people do with their friends lists.
    I understand your frustrations and I am not minimizing your concerns and I can totally relate to your problems. But, you cannot justify encroaching upon how other people manage their friends lists, because some things some people do sometimes personally make you feel bad.
    Losing gold or an item is not as important as these droves of people who just want to get away from a falling-out or even actual type 2 harassment just because 'individually slanderous clan member #43' 'wanted to' in their attempt to do disproportionate retribution limb-for-limb, finger-for-finger over whatever minor slight sets them off.
    If you don't want to socialize with them, then don't. You can even hide yourself in offline mode and just talk via discord. There's ways to do this without turning towards authoritarian control over how people interact with each other.
    It's in my seven years of playing when I say: Mabinogi .... isn't... known for its high mental maturity among the 30+ year olds who play it.

    I wholeheartedly agree. But, I don't see much point in us giving them this much power over us; you can't hide forever and people have many different ways of finding you. All you can do is block, ignore, humiliate, expose, avoid, or confront. Don't feed into the nonsense, stand up for yourself, and move on as best you can. If you friends are saying that someone's trying to contact you, tell them to just ignore it. If someone notes you, just don't read it. If someone is stalking you, go elsewhere. Keep your friends list maintained and regularly delete people whom you do not interact with.

    To Crimson:
    Crimsọn wrote: »
    Even if there is a bunch of bleep made up about you? I think there are special circumstances warranting this. It's impossible to take on a group of people let alone a community AND retain your account without having to start all over. When I changed my name, it was pointless because of this very problem here. The group that was out to get me updated everyone about my new name. Hell even the freaking official discord staff knew which shows you how insidious this community is. This was back when I used to be a goody two shoes.

    Toxic as bleep.

    100%, Crimson. I'm not immune to rumors, either. People stalk and lie on me all the time in this game, for reasons even they can't explain. Some people are just hateful.

    But, Crimson, we're not alone and we don't have to be. We're all here talking about this together and making it known that these issues exist. But, what you're saying actually proves my point: you can't run, because even the Staff don't care and sometimes support it (and possibility even assist it by providing information). They'll always know, some way. Let's say you get that ability to remove yourself from their list. They can still figure you out by your clothing scheme, color scheme, personality, locked-items, remembering key weapons you used, etc. For example, I was able to figure out Baiyu's many name changes just by picking up on typing patterns and his knowledge about content, completely unaware of who he was at first. You can't hide. You either confront or you ignore. Don't give them the power over you to control you.
  • BlissfulkillBlissfulkill
    Mabinogi Rep: 24,105
    Posts: 2,779
    Member
    What, you don't want to be friends with yourself? Be on good terms with you? That's kinda sad. :(
  • CrimsọnCrimsọn
    Mabinogi Rep: 63,645
    Posts: 8,621
    Member
    [Just going to preface this from the start: I don't disagree with any of you about the problems you present. I disagree with the solution. I totally understand and can relate to your problems and I want to find a solution as well, trust me. But, it can't be controlling what everyone else sees. They'll use that against us, I promise you.]

    To Kouyioue:
    Kouyioue wrote: »
    It's a security measure against harassment from people who don't know when to give up on a relationship.
    And for when you want to leave a clan who goes after an individual's friends and burn all of their bridges through their name because they don't like that you 'sometimes hang out' with the person they had clan beef with; So you want to disappear and not have that potentially done to you as retaliation for leaving.
    Stop responding and ignore them. Works for me (and Tinder users) all the time.
    And a way to purge away people who add you but then just permanently disappear on channel 1 and will never interact ever. I would rather not be on their friendslists.
    Delete the people who are forever "offline." But, other people should not have control over other peoples' friends lists. I stand firmly by that and I will not budge, because I understand where this leads.
    some people just don't like the loneliness brought on by people who literally collect names but don't actually say hi to anybody after the first conversation leading up to the add.
    Be proactive and start the conversation or be more conservative with how/why you add people, or just don't add random nobodies named "Steponmedaddy."
    I'd rather my name disappear from their friendslists when I unfriend them so that they don't get the privilege of saying they have a lot of """"friends""""
    That is not and should not be your right nor duty to police what other people do with their friends lists.
    I understand your frustrations and I am not minimizing your concerns and I can totally relate to your problems. But, you cannot justify encroaching upon how other people manage their friends lists, because some things some people do sometimes personally make you feel bad.
    Losing gold or an item is not as important as these droves of people who just want to get away from a falling-out or even actual type 2 harassment just because 'individually slanderous clan member #43' 'wanted to' in their attempt to do disproportionate retribution limb-for-limb, finger-for-finger over whatever minor slight sets them off.
    If you don't want to socialize with them, then don't. You can even hide yourself in offline mode and just talk via discord. There's ways to do this without turning towards authoritarian control over how people interact with each other.
    It's in my seven years of playing when I say: Mabinogi .... isn't... known for its high mental maturity among the 30+ year olds who play it.

    I wholeheartedly agree. But, I don't see much point in us giving them this much power over us; you can't hide forever and people have many different ways of finding you. All you can do is block, ignore, humiliate, expose, avoid, or confront. Don't feed into the nonsense, stand up for yourself, and move on as best you can. If you friends are saying that someone's trying to contact you, tell them to just ignore it. If someone notes you, just don't read it. If someone is stalking you, go elsewhere. Keep your friends list maintained and regularly delete people whom you do not interact with.

    To Crimson:
    Crimsọn wrote: »
    Even if there is a bunch of bleep made up about you? I think there are special circumstances warranting this. It's impossible to take on a group of people let alone a community AND retain your account without having to start all over. When I changed my name, it was pointless because of this very problem here. The group that was out to get me updated everyone about my new name. Hell even the freaking official discord staff knew which shows you how insidious this community is. This was back when I used to be a goody two shoes.

    Toxic as bleep.

    100%, Crimson. I'm not immune to rumors, either. People stalk and lie on me all the time in this game, for reasons even they can't explain. Some people are just hateful.

    But, Crimson, we're not alone and we don't have to be. We're all here talking about this together and making it known that these issues exist. But, what you're saying actually proves my point: you can't run, because even the Staff don't care and sometimes support it (and possibility even assist it by providing information). They'll always know, some way. Let's say you get that ability to remove yourself from their list. They can still figure you out by your clothing scheme, color scheme, personality, locked-items, remembering key weapons you used, etc. For example, I was able to figure out Baiyu's many name changes just by picking up on typing patterns and his knowledge about content, completely unaware of who he was at first. You can't hide. You either confront or you ignore. Don't give them the power over you to control you.

    Oh don't worry, I've concluded long ago that some of these individuals are afflicted with inferiority complexes and ocd. When identified avoid like the plague and don't give them any power, they think they are integral parts of the community but in reality that's inconsequential to the rest of existence.
  • HelsaHelsa
    Mabinogi Rep: 20,540
    Posts: 4,383
    Member
    Crimsọn wrote: »
    Oh don't worry, I've concluded long ago that some of these individuals are afflicted with inferiority complexes and ocd. When identified avoid like the plague and don't give them any power, they think they are integral parts of the community but in reality that's inconsequential to the rest of existence.

    <sarcasm>What are you saying? That at the end of the day, this game and these forums don't really matter? I thought they were EVERYTHING!</sarcasm> You're totally right, Crimalicious. None of this really matters to me that much either. Take a final server merge, for example, if the game shuts down, before that happens, it's not like I'll go lay down on the railroad tracks. Since I've pumped hundreds of dollars into the Webshop, the only thing that could be said that I care about is my main on Alexina and, I am fully cognisant that, that is based on the fallacy of sunken cost.
  • CrimsọnCrimsọn
    Mabinogi Rep: 63,645
    Posts: 8,621
    Member
    Helsa wrote: »
    Crimsọn wrote: »
    Oh don't worry, I've concluded long ago that some of these individuals are afflicted with inferiority complexes and ocd. When identified avoid like the plague and don't give them any power, they think they are integral parts of the community but in reality that's inconsequential to the rest of existence.

    <sarcasm>What are you saying? That at the end of the day, this game and these forums don't really matter? I thought they were EVERYTHING!</sarcasm> You're totally right, Crimalicious. None of this really matters to me that much either. Take a final server merge, for example, if the game shuts down, before that happens, it's not like I'll go lay down on the railroad tracks. Since I've pumped hundreds of dollars into the Webshop, the only thing that could be said that I care about is my main on Alexina and, I am fully cognisant that, that is based on the fallacy of sunken cost.

    I'm sure I have pumped 1000's but that's no pissing contest to be proud of. I'll just continue to support and enjoy the game as long as possible. All while avoiding things that I used to think mattered. Inconsequential people are inconsequential. :)